Who Pays? What a New Study Says About Splitting the Check!
Not sure if you saw the new study about dating expenses! "Who pays?!?" is a question I get all the time as a dating and relationship expert. The guys I work with don't want to come off as cheap, and the women are unsure what to expect.
So what does the study say? According to a survey of 17,000 men and women:
84% of men and 58% of women stated that the guy is paying for most dating expenses, even after dating a while
57% of women offer to pay, but 39% hoped the men would reject the offer
44% of women are bothered when men expect them to pay
2/3 of the men believe that women should help out with dating expenses
After working with hundreds of singles, and conducting several "man panels" throughout the nation - here are my tips on the great debate:
- The guy should pay for the first 3 dates without question. Chivalry is not dead, and in fact it is still expected. Avoid starting off on the wrong foot, and pay up guys. Worried about expenses? Don't pick a five star restaurant. All that matters is seeing if there is a connection. I receive complaints from men where the woman insisted on splitting. Let them court you for the first couple dates. Its in their nature.
- The woman should ALWAYS offer to pay. Even if it is just a half hearted attempt on a first date, reach for your wallet ladies. Show him you aren't a prima donna looking for a free meal.
- Dating expense after the 3rd date should be split based on income. If he is a multi-millionaire, and you are a student, he pays (still do a wallet reach ladies). If you are both professionals with similar incomes, there is no reason to not split expenses. You don't need to bring a calculator - he can buy one night, you buy the next, but try to make an effort to contribute.
- Always be gracious. No one is required to woo you! Be thankful, and gracious if someone picks up your tab. The biggest complaint I receive from men isn't that they minded paying, it's that she didn't appreciate it.
It may be 2013, and women may be making good money and great strides, however, the fundamentals of courtship still exist. Let the guy court in the beginning, be grateful for his generosity, and then offer to split.
Posted on February 16th, 2014 by flipme_blog_admin
5 Rules For Picking A Wing(wo)man
As a flirting and dating coach, I often am asked, “What do I do if I am super shy? It takes me a while to open up.” My answer? Grab a wingman (or wingwoman)! These super heros masked as your friend can make all the difference when it comes to meeting people and starting the ever important first conversation. However, there are a couple rules that come into play when picking a wingman, and not all friends are created equal. Here are my five rules to make sure the person you bring along will help you to get your flirt on to the max:
1. They must be trustworthy. No, you aren’t marrying them, but you need to be able to trust them to stay with you during the night, and stay on track. A friend that is going to wander off and ditch you when they find someone they are interested in, isn’t a good wingman. They need to be committed to you – just for the night. Knowing when to sweep in, and knowing when to back off.
2. They must be single. I know, I know. Your married best friend insists that he/she is the best choice for your winged companion, and I am sure they are awesome. However, if you have an option, you must pick a single, fun and flirty friend. Your attached friends love you and want to see you happy, but they may not have the patience to let you work your magic. The last thing you want is pointed, probing looks from your wingman indicating that you should wrap it up so he can continue complaining to you about his wife… or so he can get home to her early.
3. They must be fun. Fun is hot! It is so attractive to see happy people having fun. Pick a friend who is fun and goes with the flow. Have a funny friend? Even better. Laughter is contagious and can draw people in to talk to you like flies to honey. Who doesn’t like to laugh?
4. They must be selfless. They needs to be completely focused and committed to the cause - you! At least for the night. Your wingman needs to recognize that their role is to help you. You get first choice, and she needs to play a supporting role. Her job is to keep an eye out for you, keep an eye on you, and keep herself in check. Impaired or wasted wingwomen tend not to be effective. That doesn’t mean she can’t have fun and meet people too—she just needs to put you first (it’s only a few hours, they can make it).
5. They must know you. That seems a little vauge, huh? What I mean by “know you”, is that you need to make sure your wingman knows you well enough to know your type and read your cues. That way they know who to be on the lookout for, when to back off, or when to come in and save you! A good wingman won’t leave you hanging when you are looking distressed by the conversation.
Still at a loss for someone to have your back? Hire a pro. No, really. One of my friends, Thomas Edwards, is literally a Professional Wingman. Give him a shout. Tell him I sent you, and be sure to let me know how it goes!
Posted on December 28th, 2011 by flipme_blog_admin
Should your first act of 2012 be to send your guy packing?
The new year is a time for a fresh start. We start eating healthier, we clean out closets, we reorganize and re-prioritize our lives. This year, when you're getting your life in order, don't overlook your relationship. Continue reading →
Posted on December 13th, 2011 by flipme_blog_admin
Afternoon Adorbz: Penguins holding hands
Did you know that penguins mate for life?
They do. Which means this penguin couple is in love.
Which makes this even more adorable. And/or heatbreaking if you're single because even the penguins in Antarctica have someone to spend the holidays with.
Uh-oh. Better go read those holiday-blues-beating tips again.
Posted on December 13th, 2011 by flipme_blog_admin
How to beat the holiday blues
As we've previously discussed, being alone at the holidays can really suck. As the Christmas carol says, "It's that time of year, when the world falls in love," and if you are single... it can feel like that applies to everyone BUT you. Continue reading →
Posted on December 12th, 2011 by flipme_blog_admin