Not sure if you saw the new study about dating expenses! “Who pays?!?” is a question I get all the time as a dating and relationship expert. The guys I work with don’t want to come off as cheap, and the women are unsure what to expect.
So what does the study say? According to a survey of 17,000 men and women:
84% of men and 58% of women stated that the guy is paying for most dating expenses, even after dating a while
57% of women offer to pay, but 39% hoped the men would reject the offer
44% of women are bothered when men expect them to pay
2/3 of the men believe that women should help out with dating expenses
After working with hundreds of singles, and conducting several “man panels” throughout the nation – here are my tips on the great debate:
– The guy should pay for the first 3 dates without question. Chivalry is not dead, and in fact it is still expected. Avoid starting off on the wrong foot, and pay up guys. Worried about expenses? Don’t pick a five star restaurant. All that matters is seeing if there is a connection. I receive complaints from men where the woman insisted on splitting. Let them court you for the first couple dates. Its in their nature.
– The woman should ALWAYS offer to pay. Even if it is just a half hearted attempt on a first date, reach for your wallet ladies. Show him you aren’t a prima donna looking for a free meal.
– Dating expense after the 3rd date should be split based on income. If he is a multi-millionaire, and you are a student, he pays (still do a wallet reach ladies). If you are both professionals with similar incomes, there is no reason to not split expenses. You don’t need to bring a calculator – he can buy one night, you buy the next, but try to make an effort to contribute.
– Always be gracious. No one is required to woo you! Be thankful, and gracious if someone picks up your tab. The biggest complaint I receive from men isn’t that they minded paying, it’s that she didn’t appreciate it.
It may be 2013, and women may be making good money and great strides, however, the fundamentals of courtship still exist. Let the guy court in the beginning, be grateful for his generosity, and then offer to split.